Shared Custody Christmas

Shared Custody Christmas

Mommies I love you all.  We make it work all year round.  The holidays are no different.  In fact, this is the time of year we turn into Super Saiyans super moms. With all there is to be done, shuffling kids from one parent's home to another is a bit harder.  

I currently share custody of my children with their father.  Moms in the same boat as me know how hard this can be around the holidays. Usually, I'm smacked all week with school pick up and drop offs, activities, play dates, grocery shopping, usual mom life stuff, etc, etc. I'm completely exhausted by Friday evening when it is time for visitation with dad. 

Some might relish this rare time alone. Time to catch up on life, right? I usually find myself asleep with no knowledge of having gone to bed, or with a to-do list longer than the holiday wish list hanging on the fridge. After that precious sleep and a few productive hours, I'm missing my kids like crazy.  During the holidays it gets so freaking hard to be without my kids.  

Last year, was my first Christmas ever going through a divorce, and my ex won the coin flip for who got what holiday first.  I had only lived on my own for a few weeks, and as soon as the dust from the move settled, the children were packed up and went right back to the old house for Christmas with dad.  It was the longest and saddest holiday I've ever experienced.  

I found myself crying a lot.  I missed my babies, my house was unfamiliar, and I was alone on Christmas.  I gave myself time to vent emotionally, to pity myself and now one year later, it's getting easier.  This year the ex had Thanksgiving break with the kids. What did I do differently?  I flew to visit dear friends that I would never have time to visit otherwise.  I rejuvenated myself for my first go round with Christmas, in my home, as a single parent.

My first Christmas with my kids post-divorce was a year in the making. I understand the longing to spend this most special time of year with your babies. We don't all have situations where a nuclear family sits down to celebrate or even post-divorce parents sitting down and spending time together for the sake of the children. I salute you mommies that wait for so long for your Christmas.  Good dads too.When you only get every-other Christmas with your kids it's painful. It leaves you feeling like you have to make so much up to your kids that are just caught in the middle.  Don't be too hard on yourself.  Cry, but wrap it up and move on.  Find your new normal and leave guilt out in the snow.  You're doing your best despite whatever challenges your home might face this holiday season.  

God Bless and spike the eggnog as soon as dad picks up dem' babies.

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